When Detentions Go Horribly Wrong
by RecusantMaverick
Summary: When Nero hands out the punishment for the H.I.V.E road trip - a detention for Otto's Alpha year and their Henchmen counterparts - he discovers what happens when detentions go horribly wrong. Carnage is assured. T for blood and Alpha-Henchman fighting. I do not own H.I.V.E.. PS: Has anyone seen the new H.I.V.E character list?


**When Detentions Go Horribly Wrong...**

**A/N: Keep calm and carry on. **

***Eaglistic's extremely handy Scottish to English and Mentally-Challenged Henchman to English translations are at the bottom of the page.**

Otto, Wing, Laura and Shelby sat at desks, writing lines. This was an extra punishment specially for the Alphas, since it was unknown if the Henchmen could actually write. The Fab Four had a very long list of lines to write out, Otto especially.

The albino scribbled down 'I shall not hijack a monster jeep, or any other type of vehicle. That includes Dr Nero's toy car.'

He sighed. It would almost be a relief to be put in the chamber with the Henchmen. Almost.

Dr Nero was currently dealing with the Fab Four's surprisingly effective revenge. Well, Raven was dealing with most of it, accompanied by the H.I.V.E staff. He sighed as H.I.V.E mind appeared in yet another one of his Otto-given forms, this time as an adorable penguin. Of course, this being H.I.V.E, and Nero being a super-villain, this didn't go down well.

"Yes H.I.V.E mind?"

"It's time for the detention. Permission to place them in the Room of Doom?" asked the AI.

"Permission given," said Nero," Oh, and could you please change that form?"

H.I.V.E mind promptly altered his appearance to that of a meerkat. Nero gave a scream and hid under the table.

Yes, Maxmillian Nero, villain supreme, leader of G.L.O.V.E and one scary dude was afraid of meerkats. Nobody knew why. H.I.V.E mind watched, baffled.

"Compare ! Simples!"

H.I.V.E mind quickly disappeared before Nero could get his act together. Meanwhile, the hidden camera in Nero's office, planted by a certain albino, recorded it all and delivered it to that person's Blackbox.

Otto and the others laughed as they watched the video. Otto shared it with the rest of the school. You had to feel for Nero.

Nero's day got even worse when Otto played hook-a-teddy-bear with his treasured Mr Fluffles. Nero could only watch as the teddy was delivered to Otto. Well, that's not strictly true. The good doctor ordered a security team to get Mr Fluffles back for him. Nobody messed with his teddy.

"Drop the teddy!" commanded the guards, bursting in.

"I'll kill him!" warned Otto.

"Drop him!"

Otto's hands twisted the bear's neck. Two Sleeper blasts blasted the bear out of his hands, and the teddy was returned to Dr Nero slightly burnt, but OK.

"What the hell just happened?" asked Shelby.

"I dinnae ken*," Laura said.

"I believe Otto stole Mr Fluffles and the security team retrieved the bear from him," Wing said.

"Ohhkayy," replied Shelby.

Then the guards marched in, and the Alphas were shepherded from the room.

Franz stealthily crept along the corridor. He'd been doing this for two hours now, which was why he hadn't been put in the dramatically named Room of Doom with the other Alphas. Franz was launching his devious plan. Raid H.I.V.E's one, well hidden but not guarded snack machine.

The entire Alpha year minus Franz reached a heavily reinforced steel door which had its name printed on it in foreboding letters. The Room Of Doom. Beneath it a skull and crossbones was printed. Beneath this was a clear message.

WARNING: WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION AND WARRING STUDENTS. ENTRY PROHIBITED. SERIOUSLY, DON'T ENTER IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

The guards pushed open the door.

"Welcome to the Room of Doom."

The guards strolled down the corridor leading to the snack machine, looking for Franz. What they didn't know was that he was right above them. Another thing they didn't know was that Franz was about to drop...

The Alphas were herded into a huge room. At one end stood the snarling, glaring, growling Henchmen. The Alphas took the other end. High powered weapons were scattered around. Otto gulped.

"Can I take the lines please?" he asked.

The guards sealed the door, leaving the Alphas inside and giving Otto his answer.

Franz fell at speed upon the guards. He slammed into them like a huge sack of potatoes, flattening the guards and causing a small tremor to shake the floor. Franz got up and advanced upon the snack machine.

The Henchmen and Alphas glared at each other for a bit. Then Otto, fuelled by Skittles, picked up a large sub-machine gun.

"Kamikaze!" he yelled, and opened fire upon the Henchmen.

Franz neared the snack machine. He saw the rows and rows of treats. Franz licked his lips. This was Utopia for him, the promised land. He moved nearer.

Wing followed Otto's lead. He picked up a sword and yelled,

"THIS IS H.I.V.E!" and impaled two Henchmen on one sword. Shelby lunged in next, using a handy rocket launcher to great effect. Finally, Laura kickstarted the other Alphas into action by grabbing a truly enormous pike* and using the large spikes to impale a Henchman. Otto gave a rallying cry, which finished off the thinly-veiled and adapted Sparta jokes.

"TONIGHT, ALPHAS, WE DINE IN HELL!"

Nero was watching the thrilling live footage - much better than Villainous MasterChef reruns, or 50 ways to improve your AI, or Evil Masterminds Come Dancing. Raven and Nero watched as an Alpha smashed a Henchman with a Giant Space Robot - only £9.99 at Argos - and Laura commanded a small army of Not-So-Giant Space Robots. Raven passed the bowl of popcorn to Nero as the Henchmen began to retreat.

Block and Tackle, swinging huge clubs, managed to isolate Otto and Laura. The albino looked up.

"Howdy!" he said, raising his laser gun.

Laura didn't bother for greetings. She moved the pike up.

"Look up, look down - too slow!"

The pike dodged the Thick Twosome's clubs and slammed into Tackle, sending him flying across the room. Otto merely fired his laser weapon and finished Block off.

"That was some badass action there," he said," Nice one Laura."

The Scot totally didn't blush.

"Not too bad yourself," she replied.

This compliment giving section was interrupted by a loud Ooh, followed by the noise of somebody's head getting chopped off. They turned around to see Wing standing with ten dead or unconscious Henchmen around him. Otto ran over, and Shelby ran to Laura.

"That's my boyfriend, Brand," said Shelby admiringly," Ten dead Henchmen, lying on the floor, ten dead Henchmen-"

Laura seriously hoped that this wasn't going to go down the usual route of Shelby's conversations recently. She thought it might just escape that.

"So Brand, how's it going with you two?"

Damn. Maybe not, thought Laura.

"Saw you two chatting earlier," commented Shelby.

"Free country," said Laura.

"C'mon Brand, admit it. I did, and it worked for me!"

Why don't you admit it? said a small voice. Are you a coward? Afraid? Shut up, Laura told the small voice. Shut up!

"Henchmen killing Laura Brand, afraid of asking a crazy albino out?"

"Maybe I will!" snapped Laura, and stormed off, fire-red hair blending with the fires of battle as Shelby watched her go, a smile on the blonde's face. This could be the day.

Franz pressed his face against the glass. So near, but so far away from his goal. The snack machine was locked. Franz growled and Hulk-smashed the glass...

Otto had managed to severely piss off five of the biggest, ugliest Henchmen, carrying the biggest, ugliest weapons. He'd accomplished this by singing GoCompare loudly in their ears, and bombarding them with fluffy, adorable, lethal exploding pandas left over from Earth Day. Otto had a very nasty feeling of biting off more than he could chew.

Laura, coincidentally walking to find the albino, sighed as she realised what he'd got himself into. This sigh turned to one of horror as a Henchman poked the albino with a spear. Laura attempted a cliché rescue, beginning with the Not-So-Giant Space Robots.

The Not-So-Giant Space Robots, now two in number, viciously attacked the Henchmen. Otto sighed in relief as the spear-holding Henchman was thrown across the room by the last surviving robot. But another Henchman crushed the last robot. Laura reverted to a more traditional method. Gripping the pike tightly, and with a Scottish battle cry, the redhead took on the four huge Henchmen.

Meanwhile, Wing was slowly building a pile of Henchmen bodies. Sadly for the Alphas, there were hundreds of Henchmen, and less Alphas. The tide of war was turning against them as they were slowly pushed into the corner...

Laura brained one Henchman with the pike, but two more reinforcements arrived. Now Laura had succeeded in joining Otto in the corner with the Henchmen advancing.

"Thanks for trying," said Otto.

"Welcome," replied Laura," You know, just in case we end up impaled by these Henchmen, I want you to know that I love you."

Otto nodded.

"Me too," he said.

This ever so cute Ottra moment was broken up by the Henchmen finally finishing their council of war.

"Kill dem* all!" said the leader.

"Boss, *wat's da* word for saying you agree with boss?" asked an unusually thick Henchman.

"Y-e-s," spelled out the leader.

"OK," replied the unusually thick Henchman, and advanced.

But Otto and Laura weren't going down without a fight. In a display of total skill, the Scot swung the huge pike and beheaded three Henchmen in a way worthy of the Scottish warriors of old. The leader lunged at Otto, knocking the Skittle bag out of the albino's hands. Big mistake.

You had to feel for the Henchmen. Not one of them had heard of Otto's devastating Skittle rage. So when they found themselves lying on the floor with Otto beating them up, they did not know what the hell just happened. Otto then began to do Gangnam Style on the Henchmen's confused, unconscious bodies.

"Op, op, Oppa Otto Style! Hey, juicy Skittles! Op, op, Oppa Otto Style!" sang the albino, happily retrieving his Skittles.

He was snapped out of this by Laura.

"Remind me never to take your Skittles," said the Scot.

"You don't need reminding," said Otto," Hang on, look!"

The rest of the Alphas excluding Wing, Shelby and Otto had been pushed into a corner by a massive group of Henchmen. Wing was decapitating Henchmen at lightning speed, but the Alphas were losing. Until the Henchmen reached the exact point which, two floors above, a certain snack machine stood...

Franz yelped as the glass shattered, and he was pulled into the machine. A hole opened up in the floor, and Franz fell into it.

The Henchmen didn't notice the hole open up in the roof. Nor did they spot the boy hurtling down it. But what they did notice was when Franz - travelling at 150mph - slammed into their ranks with the effect of a missile. The results were epic.

Franz shot into the lead Henchman, knocking said Henchman across the room. He slammed into the floor. A small earthquake shook the floor, toppling many Henchmen. Then the Alphas launched an attack.

Nero was getting seriously worried. It had all started to go downhill when the Alphas and Henchmen actually started killing each other. The situation got worse when the battle began to be heard throughout the school, and worse when Wing Fanchu decapitated about 10%(30) of the whole Henchmen year in as many minutes. Now there seemed to be a localised earthquake shaking H.I.V.E. Nero realised that this was what happened when detentions went horribly wrong.

Raven was watching the screen. One thing she was certain of was that the Alphas were now winning. Another thing she was certain of was that the whole year of Henchmen were on a course to be wiped out. Oh well, they could always get another one. The current casualties stood at 250 out of 300 Henchmen dead, and only 20 Alphas, who the school wouldn't miss. Wing Fanchu had killed the most Henchmen - his total now stood at 50(20% of the dead Henchmen). At least it was better than H.I.V.E's Got Talent adverts. There had been a lot of them recently.

As the Alphas finished off the last Henchman standing, Nero thought that this might not have been a good idea. Maybe the Alphas were trained too well. At least it showed they were doing what they were supposed to, he thought. There was no doubt that this was what happened when detentions went horribly wrong. But, it was H.I.V.E, after all.

**A/N: Firstly, I apologise for the long time it took to get this here. I'm really sorry it took so long. It's just been a really tough last week and it was hard to come up with decent humorous stuff.**

**Secondly, I hope you enjoyed it! **

**Eaglistic's Extremely Handy Scottish-to-English Translations**

**Dinnae: Don't **

**Ken: Know**

**Pike: A large stick with very sharp spikes on it, used by the Scots long ago.**

**Eaglistic's Extremely Handy Mentally-Challenged Henchman To English Translations**

**Wat's: What's**

**Da: The**

**Dem: Them**

**Eaglistic, signing off. **


End file.
